I had real joy and contentment.

Not because of what I had, but because of where my mind was set. I was not addicted to anything, nor did I crave anything but I was free to enjoy anything. I remember I was making a lot of progress in my attitude and my relationships. If I was addicted to anything, it was a cup of hot tea or coffee, and those I had learned to enjoy thoroughly. I was accustomed to setting my mind on good things; things that were honorable and beautiful.

One night, by obligation and fear of saying no, I left it all in misplaced faith; I thought the doctrine was good, though I had my reasons to question.  The outside looked so healthy. I was enticed by the promise of godliness but I was wrong. IT was wrong. It was the first time I remember letting my anger rise up in a long, long time. The former things that had become like distant dreams were now resurfacing. I was lied to. I was told to let go and let God. But I'm not a puppet, and the presence of sin will always remain in this body until the resurrection. There is another principle at work that is opposed to good and to let your guard down is a lie from Satan. I should have listened to the words from scripture:

"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."