You can only grow in God's grace BY God's grace. Only God is able to move us onto maturity from works and law. Not that it isn't important for us to continue to soak in the truths of the New Covenant and what the sacrifice of Jesus changed about our relatioship with God.
If you're wondering whether or not you will ever make it out of that legalistic mindset that still has traces of Old Covenant imprinted on it, just continue to seek God's grace and seek truth. Growth comes without us knowing it until we stop to realize that we're actually doing it! We're maturing and growing in grace, learning to walk free from condemnation and fear!
Peter walked upright on the water only as long as his eyes were fixed on his Jesus. The storm was raging around him, but he wasn't conscious of it, therefore it didn't cause him to stumble and fall. He was God-conscious with his eyes set perfectly on the Author and Perfector of his faith.
Setting your eyes on Jesus alone will keep you from being tossed around by every wind of doctrine. But when a very strong wind comes and averts your gaze from Christ, and puts it back onto yourself and your own abilities, let's get real -- you can't do it. It is physically impossible to walk on water. "It is the Spirit who gives life, the flesh is of no avail."
It is only when we observe and gaze at the face of God in Christ Jesus when we experience growth and are matured into the people God has planned for us to be. Knowing God transforms us, contrary to the popular belief that getting busy for God is what transforms us. You cannot perfect yourself by the flesh, Galatians tells us.
Jesus told Martha, who was distracted with trying to serve Him, that only one thing was needed, and her sister, Mary chose it. Mary chose to sit at His feet and listen to His teaching while Martha was distracted from Him with much serving.
"And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the One True God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."
"When we see Him we'll be like Him. For we shall see Him as He is."
"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed from one degree of glory to another."
To know God is to love Him. You cannot know Him and not love Him. Which is why John says that no one who hates his brother has the love of God abiding in him. Does the Scripture say that we love because we dedicate our lives to serving Him? No, but rather it says, "We love because He first loved us."
Paul speaks of unbelievers as those who are, "alienated in their minds" and "hostile in their understanding, doing evil deeds." They don't know Him. The god of this world has blinded their eyes so that they cannot see. (Ephesians 4:18-19)
Just get to know Him.