Monday, January 28, 2008

Double Talk

I was over at Bino's blog just now, reading his post Double Talk and found some really funny but true thoughts. These two were among my favorite:

Isn't it funny that we tell people that money is evil, and pray to bless them financially?

Isn't funny that we tell people that we cannot serve mammon and God at the same time, and inviting them to testify about the 'financial miracle'?

Friday, January 25, 2008

He Is Faithful!

For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.

Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said,

"Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired,
but a body have you prepared for me;
in burnt offerings and sin offerings
you have taken no pleasure.
Then I said, 'Behold, I have come to do your will, O God,
as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.'"

When he said above, "You have neither desired nor taken pleasure in sacrifices and offerings and burnt offerings and sin offerings" (these are offered according to the law), then he added, "Behold, I have come to do your will." He does away with the first in order to establish the second. And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.

And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying,
"This is the covenant that I will make with them
after those days, declares the Lord:
I will put my laws on their hearts,
and write them on their minds,"

then he adds,

"I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more."

Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.

He who promised is FAITHFUL! You can believe the Gospel and lean your full weight in Jesus because He who promised is FAITHFUL! Let's believe this with all of our hearts! If you read on, the other option is to reject this wonderful salvation and be destroyed.

"But my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, My Soul has no pleasure in him."

Either receive this wonderful grace of God or be condemned!

Let's believe Him!!!! Our Father is coming back for us!!!

Stuart Townsend - See What A Morning (Resurrection Hymn)


Today has been pretty good. I woke up and flipped through the channels this morning and eventually got myself up, got my prosthetic on, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth and eventually started cleaning while listening to Rob Rufus. I had the volume turned up very loud so I could hear in the kitchen and living room while I cleaned and mom called while Rob was yelling something and she's all, "What in the world is that!?" lol. Rob gets hyper from time to time ;)

Mom had to go get some cold medicine today and so I've been her servant lately. I don't mind though, I just tend to get annoyed with all the having to wash my hands all the time. I've just had two colds and I don't want another one! She has a chest cold which isn't good for her because she has bad lung problems. So if you please, say a prayer for her. Shes been absolutely miserable lately. She's had something wrong with her stomach that has caused it to swell and whatever it is, it causes her back to hurt and up into her head, behind her ears. Shes not in a good way and my temper easily flares up in times like these because I get stressed when I can't do anything to help her. I just pray that God teaches me to love unconditionally, not afraid to get sick or whatnot.

In other news, God and I clean my house everyday. I really enjoy it!! But some days I don't have as much energy and so I have to pray for motivation and strength and He gives it. It's good to simply live in the now and not worrying about whether or not I will stay consistent in cleaning up the house everyday, but simply cleaning today. It's easy for us to live in the future and start (in our minds) cleaning up tomorrow's kitchen. Jesus is my Life and Power. He allows me to take part in His works. Yes, they can be as simple as cleaning. I love the quote from the The Shack where Papa (God) says, "If something matters, everything matters".

It's all small to God anyway.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Waynes World

I just read an excellent post overt at Grace in Flood on God's unconditional love for us, not based on the Law.

I also found it interesting in John chapter 8 that the Pharisees and teachers of the Law stated: "In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women". If the Law of Moses was just ceremonial laws and not the Ten Commandments, then why do they say Moses commanded them and not God? ;)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Meer Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

My personal favorite was the ceiling fan. ;)

Monday, January 21, 2008

Intimacy With God

There are a lot of times where I feel so grounded and tied down by the world. Video games, computers, TV, movies, ipod, food and drink. Also I have the comfort of being at home most of the time with central heat for the winter and A/C for the summer. I am physically wealthy. Not according to most of the worlds standards, but I can honestly say that I believe I am very rich.

At times I feel I am being choked by these things. I have noticed I can slack in prayer and intimacy with God in order to play a video game for a few hours, watch TV, eating when I'm not necessarily hungry, and on and on.

I guess one of my main reasons for this is I get so full of the grace of God and I get excited about it and then i sort of just do whatever. I want to know ways I can channel this excitement into something productive in my relationship with God. I want to harness it and allow myself intimacy with God. But my problem is that I'm not exactly sure how to have intimacy with God. I want more of Him in my prayer time. I want a deeper experience I guess...I want to enjoy spiritual pleasures and I want to fall in love with my God, but I seem to fall short of my expectations of experiencing God's presence.

I worry about being choked by the cares and pleasures of this life. I have this thirst for God and I'm not sure how to quench it. It's difficult for me to grasp God's love like I want to. I hope someone can relate. I simply don't understand the fullness of His love for me. Sometimes I'll tell Jesus that I want to know His thoughts toward me. I want to know Him personally and seek Him everyday. I wanna know how He feels toward me when I sin and when I don't sin. I want to know what He has for me to do in this life. The basic Christian thirsts.

But I refuse to try and work up anything anymore. Religiously reading my Bible and religiously praying does not help me get closer to Him. Being a good boy doesn't allow me to experience Him. After all, Jesus said no one comes to the Father but through Him. I want to know that I know Him and that He knows me. I want to hear, feel, touch and see Him. Seeing Him in creation doesn't do it for me like it used to. I want God. I want intimacy with Him. What must I do to know Him more personally?

I originally intended to express my fears of being choked by "cares, riches and pleasures of this life" but I guess what I'm trying to do is substitute enjoying God by turning to other things?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

No Boasting

"Where's the boasting? We're not better than anybody. We're better off, but not better than anybody." - Bob George

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Worthy Is The Lamb

I think the most difficult thing for me to grasp is that God is agape. He is love for the ugly people. I don't meant the typical Christian sense of the word ugly which is really false humility. I literally mean ugly. Absolutely wretched, miserable and completely absent of any hint or sign of beauty.

I absolutely cannot understand how God doesn't hate me when I sin. If not for His grace, I would be swallowed up by my sin and wretchedness. How could He ever tell me, "Well done, good and faithful servant"? I am absolutely nothing without Him. I feel at times exactly like Mephibosheth a lot of the time. "I'm just a dead dog, Lord". Definitely not one anyone could say was good and faithful.

Worthy is the Lamb!! Jesus gets all the glory!! I have worth because He has loved me. I am what I am by the grace of God. My crown of righteousness will most definitely be thrown at His feet. He is the One who has made me worthy and given me any reason for existence.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


I feel pathetic for admitting this, but I have never had a job.

Lately I have been feeling anxious in this area of my life. I'm not sure what kind of job to get or how long I would be able to work. I feel like a lazy bum not working. The truth is is that I need disability. I don't have insurance and I'm not exactly sure how long this prosthetic is going to hold out. A prosthesis normally lasts around 5-6 years before it starts breaking down. I've had this one since 2002. I had the foot since then updated, but thats been a few years back as well.

The truth is is that it's my fault for not having a job. I'm so afraid that I lack the assertiveness I need to get the things I need to get done, done.

I'm just venting out frustration at the moment. Hopefully I'll do this less and less. ;)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Be Excellent To Each Other

Let this be true in me.

The Reality Of Hell

I am concerned for some believers today because a lot of them seem to excuse hell and brush it off.

Even in the book "The Shack" it's written that judgment is "not for punishment" but for "righting wrongs" or something like that. While it is a good book, I do have a major problem with that. Why? Because it's just not true. For the believer, there is no condemnation assuredly. But there is a hell. It is literal. I highly doubt Jesus would lie when He said there is a lake of fire that burns forever.

The reason I believe in hell is not because I want to. It's because it's real. Jesus said it is. The false new age belief that hell is some sort of place for purification or whatever is ridiculous. If hell purifies, then why did Jesus die? If hell can save me, what need do I have for Jesus? What a ridiculous lie.

Hell is a real place Jesus said. It is a literal lake of fire, whether you want to believe it or not. I don't like it anymore than anyone else, but it scares me when people, especially believers say there is no hell or hell is some sort of place thats not meant for punishment, but correction. Do you know why it scares me? Because hell is real and telling people there is no hell is not helping that person at all.

I don't like the topic of hell at all. I hate to think about it. But it's the truth.

Of course, non of us have to go there. Jesus came to save us!!!! We just need to freely receive His righteousness in His death, burial and resurrection from the dead!! He has promised to save anyone who comes to Him. He also said that whoever comes to Him He will NEVER cast out!! So receive Jesus Christ! Receive the abundance of grace and the FREE GIFT of righteousness!!

To paraphrase the writer of Hebrews...If you thought it was bad for those who rejected the Law, think how bad it will be for those who have rejected God's own Son!! He offers His love freely to anyone who receives it! How great a punishment do you think will be deserved by the one who rejects so great a salvation?

Monday, January 14, 2008


I wanted to add another passage of scripture to a previous post of mine Room For Boasting?

I always hear people talking about how they want to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant" at the judgment. Which most people use to imply that they have been good Christians therefore, they are worthy of eternal life. But the Holy Spirit through Paul said in Acts that those who are unworthy are those who think they are worthy and reject the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. (Acts 13:44-46)

Luke 17:7-10:

"Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, 'Come at once and recline at table'? Will he not rather say to him, 'Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink'? Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'"

Your righteousness is not your own. I hope that when I do something good, I don't even know I'm doing it. That is freedom. Anything else is from the tree of knowledge of good and evil (self) and not from the Tree of Life (Jesus).

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Roller Coaster Of Love

Aren't I just a bundle of contradictions? Tonight, my brother Brian encouraged me in the grace of God and my heart was filled overflowing with the grace and love of God that truly cannot be measured or fathomed in the least. I am like a sippy cup overflowing after being submerged into the ocean of God's grace and love in His Son Jesus Christ the Righteous.

We cannot fathom the love and joy we will have at His return. His free gift of limitless grace and righteousness does more than cover us. It makes us completely new from the inside out. A new creation indeed.

Christ was tortured and crucified for me. They buried Him, but He was raised from the dead with Holy Spirit power.

The doubts and confusion make it so sweet when the love of God washes over you.

Spiritual Warfare

Tonight has been one difficult night.

It started off by my being on Xbox Live. I was singing to myself the song "We Want To See Jesus Lifted High" and I noticed that as I was joining a room to play with a friend, I quit singing because I didn't want to feel awkward in front of him by singing about Jesus. So I was immediately convicted and sang it again, but with a lower tone. He ended up getting offline before I could join up with him anyway.

And I realized later on after I got off that I had been ashamed to sing about Jesus in front of this person. I was afraid of feeling awkward. And I realized that Jesus said whoever is ashamed of Him and of His words, He will be ashamed of that person. And whoever denies Him before me, He also will deny before His Father and the holy angels. I've been feeling condemned heavily. I realized I needed to be more alert when it comes to things like this.

Then I read the passage about staying awake. That made it worse because I was afraid I was asleep because I don't preach the Gospel or anything. And then came the Parable of the Talents. I felt I was the wicked and slothful servant. So I went to bed.

Then I had nightmares about demons in my house, haunting me, claiming to be dead people of course. I knew better. They were doing all the things poltergeists do like slamming doors, opening cabinets, etc. They would also possess me to where I couldn't move and I would black out. Eventually, some of those ghost hunter people came over trying to investigate and get rid of the demons and I thought to myself "Oh no. They're just going to walk around trying to scare the demons off with incense". I knew that wouldn't work so I ended up trying to cast them out myself in the name of Jesus. As I did so, they would try and possess me and I would struggle to gain control and not to black out. Then I woke up at 5 something. It's 6:28am now and I'm feeling better, but I'm still worried about these things. I feel like Jesus is angry with me for being scared to sing about Him in front of someone.

I feel like a failure and a fake. I'm worried that I will deny Jesus or be ashamed of Him and will be condemned.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Back To Basics

I noticed while reading a post in Lydia's blog today that I have lost my joy in worshiping God for Him being God. Lydia mentioned being able to find renewal in songs of praise and worship.

I have it, but it's no where near as powerful as it used to be. The reason is because of my continual analysis of my salvation, questioning myself and wondering if I have really been saved. Also, there is a fear of works in me. I'm afraid of words like worship and good works now because of the continual inspection of myself and finding reason to doubt my salvation.

When God first opened my heart to Him, I didn't understand the Gospel in the least. I simply saw God as God. A beautiful Creator. One I had fallen in love with simply because He is beautiful. I saw Him in paintings and the creation itself. Landscape photographs, paintings and worship music were things that God used to allow me to see who He is and lead me to seeking the Way to have Him again. He is God, not an employer, seeking employee's. He is a Creator who created me and mankind to enjoy Him and the world He created for them.

The world became beautiful to me because God created it. The world by itself is boring, but when you see the One who created it, it becomes beautiful. I'll give an illustration of this in my first relationship. I had fallen in love with a girl from Idaho named Jamie. I hated the west when I young. I hated western movies and never had any desire to go out west. But when I fell in love with this girl, suddenly Idaho was just the coolest place in the world. I thought it was the most beautiful and wondrous place. But it wasn't actually Idaho that was beautiful to me. It was the girl I had fallen in love with who made it beautiful.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I simply want to return back to the simple wonder and adoration of God. Of course, I want to understand Jesus' love and grace for me, but I want to accept it and grow. I want to quit worrying about whether or not I'm saved so that I can worship God again in admiring His beauty seen in creation. I want to be able to turn on a worship song and feel it without wondering whether or not I'm really God's child. If I'm not sure of that, how can I ever be free to worship? I can't be in a fully functional relationship with someone if I'm always questioning where I stand before them.

I don't want to wonder anymore about whether or not I have really posses God's Spirit or whether or not He is pleased with me. I don't want to be afraid of people who teach the ridiculous doctrine of working for God. I want to worship God and enjoy Him without questioning myself!! Ahhh!! He's so beautiful, I just want more revelation of Him and His love for me.

I want to be free.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Washed In The Blood!!

God has taken away every ounce of guilt from me through His binding covenant of unconditional love for me!!!

He's taken away all my selfishness, pride, anger, gossip, adultery, lies, EVERYTHING!

I have been washed as white as light!!! He's given me a crown of righteousness!!! I'll tell Him "What!? All the glory belongs to YOU, Lord!!!"

Inside My Heart

My friend Heather has a fairly new blog. She is extremely wise and talented in expressing her understanding of God's love. Heather's personality reminds me of Sarayu (the Holy Spirit) in the book The Shack. ;)

So here you are: Inside My Heart

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The Shack

I'm nearly done reading The Shack now and I've enjoyed it very much!! I couldn't put it down today. It is very well articulated in the subject of living by Christ's life (which I'm still trying to figure out how to live myself) and living in freedom.

Go pick it up!!!

Edit: Finished it tonight! It was a very good ending I thought. A good ending for a good story.