Logging Out

This may be my last post; I don't know.

All I can say is that I am frustrated and exhausted.

I have learned so much from everyone here and I love you all. I don't know if this is permanent, I just know that this transition to grace is more complicated than I originally thought.

If you would like to keep in touch, leave a comment with your e-mail address and I'll e-mail you my cell phone number. I just have to get away from the computer for a long time.


...End transmission....

Knowing Jesus

I can't believe I never understood this before, but it dawned on me last night.

"Now Adam knew his wife..."

Whenever the Scripture speaks of sex, it uses the word 'know'. It also says that whenever one 'knows' a person, those two people are made into one. Paul said this has to do with Christ and the Church. The Church 'know' Jesus and become one Spirit with Him.

I wonder if this is the same sort of 'knowing' Jesus had in mind when He said, "Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name and done many mighty works in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.' "

Who is lawless but the ones who have not had the Law written on their hearts and minds? And who are they but those devoid of the Spirit of Christ?

Together Forever

I use to think God never knew what it was like to be me. After all, Jesus never had to deal with amputation. He never went through what I went through!

It's amazing that is no longer true. Every torture Christians have endured, every trial, every persecution, every hurt, every pain, every sin, whatever it is, Christ has been in them, going through it with them. Jesus feels my feelings and He is an amputee through me. He knows what it's like to wake up, roll on a freezing cold liner and feel the aggravation of relying on a made-made object that breaks down to keep Him walking on His feet.

He knows what it's like to have cancer, unbearable sciatic pain, He knows what it's like to be raped, He knows what it's like to be tortured, burned at the stake, decapitated, boiled in water, crucified upside down, thrown to lions, etc, etc, etc.

"Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting ME?"

"Truly, I say to you, whatever you did to the least of these, you have done it to Me."

We only ever refer to Christ's sufferings in the past, but what about those sufferings that He endures NOW in you? What kind of love is it that chooses to endure such things just to be with you?

Amazing...

Lincoln Brewster - Everlasting God

Isaiah 35:3-10

"Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you!" Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped; then the lame man leap like a deer, and the tongue of the mute sing for joy. For the waters break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert; the burning sand shall become a pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water; in the haunt of jackals, where they lie down, the grass shall become reeds and rushes.

And a highway shall be there, and it shall be called the Way of Holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it. It shall belong to those who walk on the Way; even if they are fools, they shall not go astray. No lion shall be there, nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it; they shall not be found there, but the redeemed shall walk there. And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away."

A Friend

The man to my right in this picture is Trey Maurice. He passed away sometime in his sleep last night. I wanted to post this in memory of him. Trey was always very kind to me and he is the man who gave me a little Siamese kitten shortly after this picture was taken, whom we later named Peaches.

This picture was taken at the Biltmore Estate in the summer of 2007.

"May the Lord grant him to find mercy from the Lord on that Day!"

Enya - Trains and Winter Rains

Concerning Tapeworms and Man-Hair

So, I had a great lunch with Jamie and Ryan today! It was so good to see them again and a little hard to believe it has been just over 1 whole year since we first met in person at the Olive Garden. Jamie has a tapeworm and Ryan has a phenomenal beard. I'm a sucker for beards. Every man should have one. I would if they were not so dang itchy. Shall I elaborate on Jamie's tapeworm? Nah... =P Suffice to say that she looks wonderful. She's so classy.

We chatted about all of our friends. Yeah, MAJOR gossip. =) And of course we talked about grace. How can we not? "We cannot help but speak of what we have seen and heard".

Lunch was DELICIOUS. Good grief, Ryan spoiled us. I had a grilled shrimp pasta that was delicioso! We also had Calamari, stuffed mushrooms and fried mozzarella for appetizers. Not to mention the salad and endless breadsticks. I took some home with me and had left-overs for dinner. Mom wanted some. I didn't give her any. It's our precious.

Jamie and Ryan mentioned moving eventually. Shall I suggest Rock Hill? Or maybe Charlotte? One can hope. :)

I always forget how much I love them and miss them when I see them again.

The love of Jesus drove 4 hours just to have lunch with me. :)

I just wish the rest of our friends could have been there with us. We love you all.

The Leaven of 'Balance'

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today.
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
Like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me
Right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first
But I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)

So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too
Right inside your skin

Linkin Park - Papercut