Coldplay - Viva La Vida

DIVE - steven curtis chapman

My First Job

Alright, so I think I have a job at a distribution center for West Marine. I'll be on the assembly line I believe. I'm very nervous about it because I've never had a job before, and I'm afraid I won't know how to do my job right. I've prayed about it and told God over and over that I'm afraid and I need his wisdom and strength.

Also, there will be constant standing up and walking which I'm concerned about. I'm not sure I'll be able to do all the walking with the lower back pain I get from wearing an outdated prosthetic. The only reason I went in today was belief that Jesus would provide for me and give me the ability to do what he has given me to do. But oh Lord Jesus, I'm nervous! I asked if maybe he'd wanna give me a cold or something for my first few days. When I'm sick, I'm not as nervous.

So what about YOU? What were your first jobs and how did YOU feel about them?

"Wretched man that I am!"

I am struggling with pride and arrogance.

I am constantly on the look at everyone's belief it seems, making sure they're not straying into lies. I am afraid that legalists won't accept grace and that people who accept grace will wander off into heresy. I am often, in my mind, lifted up higher than my precious brothers and sisters in Christ. I am not worthy of them. I feel that I try to intimidate people by putting on a facade. I am so afraid to be myself and my flesh is easily puffed up!! One little compliment can send my head soaring above the clouds!

I am often selfish and caring only of myself and looking after my own interests. I am often ungrateful in action and I struggle with obedience. I struggle with loving people! To be free of pride and the fear of man! To be free of all ungodliness and sin!! What would that feel like?

"I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am!"

I often indulge in fantasies of being exalted, lifted up and being highly esteemed by God and man. When will I cease to care what man thinks of me? I wish I could be rid of pride once for all. I wish I could see others as important as they see themselves and as God sees them. I wish I could only seek the glory that comes from God. What freedom would that bring to my life?? What absolute freedom!

I want eyes to see people as God sees them and to love them as myself.

Matchbox Twenty - Push

One of my favorite bands.

I heard this one on the radio today. :)

The Bonsai Conspiracy

If anyone would like to read the Bonsai Conspiracy, I have a copy that Jamie & Ryan has at the moment. What I would LIKE to do is to pass it around to everyone who would like to read it and after they have read it, to sign it for me so that I can get it back with everyone's signature. It probably won't work, but so what? I'll give it a shot and see if anyone would like to.

Flyleaf - Perfect

Nevermind the content of the video. It is the only one I could find with good quality audio.

Anyway, this is a song by Flyleaf called, "Perfect".

sick of circling the same road
sick of bearing the guilt
so open the windows to cool off
and heat pours in instead

perfect in weakness
i'm only perfect in just your strength alone

all my efforts to clean me
leave me putrid and filthy
and how can you look at me
when i can't stand myself

i'm tired to be honest
i'm nobody

perfect in weakness
i'm only perfect in just your strength alone

perfect in weakness
i'm only running in just your strength alone

i tried to kill you
you tried to save me

you save me
you save me
you save me
you save me

perfect in weakness
i'm only perfect in just your strength alone

perfect in weakness
i'm only running in just your strength alone