I'm taking a serious detox from the people and teachings I listened to. From them, I learned so much nonsense and lost that first love I had for Christ.

I feel like they stole it from me with all the stupid, contradicting messages I listened to.

They made God extremely unlikable and unrealistic.

I don't need them to tell me what He is like.

"They shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest."

I'm sick of properly dressed, type A personalities who hold your imperfection in the light, cracking the whip, burdening you to be better, more organized, more productive, more efficient in your evangelism, more consistent in your spiritual disciplines.

I wanna bleed all of it out and experience the real Christ and his real message.

Here I am, still making horrible choices, treating people like garbage, and I don't feel the strength to stop.

I still hate in my heart, I lust, and I fear other men. My mind is still set on this world.

The thing is, I don't feel guilty anymore.

I just want out of this mess.

I want to be free again.

I'm not alright.

I hate when I see a new believer, full of joy and and the Holy Spirit, succumb to a blabbering idiot, blabbering away about how much they need to start doing for God.

It infuriates me to think of anyone quenching the beautiful new love they have inside of them.

The love inside of them is more than enough to fuel them. There's no need in someone throwing guilt trips on them.

The irony of a legalistic person speaking against legalism is almost too much to bear.

I used to think being a Christian shielded you from emotional hurts.

Wrong.

No Return Policy

You can sin as a Christian, but in my experience, you cannot fully live in it.

Something inside keeps you from being totally given over to it; totally deceived by it's lust.

What I am saying is that you can indeed give into it's desires, but you can not be it's slave. It longer has ownership of you. Christ made sure of that.

I can't fully be given over to anger. I belong to Another. He bought me and He keeps me because He paid the price for me in full; He didn't just put a down payment.

It isn't through my will power, but it's because He bought me. He paid for me and He got what He purchased. He predestined me to belong to Him, and He will have me, no matter what power seeks to buy me back. It's non-negotiable.

I am His because He made me His.