I've realized something about myself that I didn't even know. I am religious. I mean, I'm guilty of having sound doctrine, but being a jerk and beating people over the head with that doctrine, trying to get them to experience what I am experiencing. Trying to get people to follow Jesus. It is such a relief not to have to preach the whole Romans Road to Salvation in an orderly presentation. Instead, I am learning that Jesus wants me to be a friend to people as He was when He was here. I'm no better than anyone else..and while I've said that before and known it, I didn't live like I believed it. It is a process of renewing my mind and learning what it means to fully deny self.
I had to send a message to a very good friend of mine to apologize for forcing doctrine on him and treating my own friend like he was contaminated and I needed to clean him up or something. And that was based out of my own insecurity. The reason Christians act holier than thou (for my part anyway) is because they are afraid of falling back into their old ways. They tend to put more faith in satan causing them to fall than in God to hold them up. I've been a hypocrite. I have been saying that I am no better than anyone else, but living like a pharisee in some of my attitudes. I am guilty of being religious without even knowing it. The more I read the gospels, the more I realize Jesus didn't draw people to Himself with doctrine, but with Himself. He was simply a friend to people. He wasn't worried about people sinning, since they had already done that. He wanted people to love Him. He came to restore relationship with His creation.
Whenever you think "I've got it", God reveals more to you. Sometimes its painful, because it takes some unlearning. It takes being put under His light to see how dirty you are. But after the scrubbing is done, you feel brand new.