Sometimes I think the change is making it's way through, that God is working in me what he wills to do.
I get so low at times, thinking, "Look at where I've come from. I was beautiful and pure once. Now I've fallen back into things that I once strove to avoid."
But I just don't have the will or strength to fight it anymore. Not that I embrace it; just that I know I can't overcome it by my own strength.
Maybe this is the meaning of Christ displaying his strength in my weakness. Maybe it's in those fleeting moments of genuine care and compassion that the light of Christ peaks out through this fallen body. Maybe it's when I least expect it or am totally unaware of it.
After all, it seems to be that way with Christ's flock. They will ask him on that Day, "Lord, when did I see you and love you?" They were genuinely at a loss as to what he was talking about. They never even realized it was happening. It was all due to the power of a kind and gracious God, who slowly and gently worked in us to will and to do.
I want the real power of God to miraculously change my heart and my ways. I've seen first hand that the flesh can only give birth to flesh. Likewise, only the Spirit can birth true love into, and through, a person.
"Though I am very dark, I am lovely" says the bride.