Frightening Freedom

"Now, having undergone our period(s) of disillusionment (i.e. Dark Night(s) of the Soul), we emerge on the other side only to discover that we do not like the look of freedom. This is understandably so because freedom is a scary thing. How does one function in a paradigm where there are no alibis, rules, codes of conduct, ethics, structures or law? How does one function in a world where morality has been surpassed and outclassed by the absurdity of grace? It is up to you to interpret freedom for yourself. Nobody is going to tell you what to do. All this new paradigm will do is reinforce who you are. So, you can neither control nor be controlled. Freedom is truly frightening as it is an alien and implausible structure to a bound guilt-stained soul."

-Taken from the Bonsai Conspiracy by Paul Anderson-Walsh

Finding Jesus in Secular Lyrics

"All your faces I can see; you all think its about me -- I'm about to break. This is my fate. I am still damned to a life of misery and hate. You will never know what I've done for you; what you all put me through...I do it for you."

"For the joy set before him he endured the cross."

Prayer

I ask everyone who reads this to pray for me. I won't be specific, but this a very serious problem. Just pray for God to protect me. You don't need to pray long prayers. Just ask what comes to you and let God answer.

He hears you because of Jesus' precious Blood.

I loathe cigarette smoke, nascar, country music and beer.

What freedom it is to be freed from reliance on emotional highs and to worship God even when I feel nothing.

I'm going to let God teach me. I'm letting go of man's tactics for spiritual growth, doing what they say I should do.

I'm gonna follow Jesus. He told me his yoke is easy and his burden is light. That sounds more realistic for someone like me: Weak.

Something a little heavy is on my heart right now and I'm not sure what it is and writing usually helps me.

I'm a little stressed because I don't have a job. And if I am honest, I am a little stressed about my prosthetic. Its getting pretty old and I have no insurance. I could live without it if I had to, but I would like to have it so that I can work and provide for myself, and am praying for a job at the bookstore. I really love the mood of the place and the idea of becoming more social. I love the idea of working with other people, stepping outside of comfort zones which are not so comfortable anymore. Those comfort zones are starting to feel more like prison cells.

I feel God's Spirit is welling up inside of me, longing to express himself. I want to practice love and kindness. And I mean literal practice. Like target practice.

Let me make this clear: IT IS NOT ME. I have never been a person that likes people. I loved and longed for the shadows. You could have dug for me a hobbit hole and I would have been content to stay there. But no more. God is moving.

Jamie was right. When Jesus is inside you, its like being pregnant. Birth is inevitable.

Jesus said kinda the same thing. He described it as rivers of living water being inside you, ready to burst forth.

This flesh isn't strong enough to hold back the flood. Its coming.