Monday, July 13, 2009

Something a little heavy is on my heart right now and I'm not sure what it is and writing usually helps me.

I'm a little stressed because I don't have a job. And if I am honest, I am a little stressed about my prosthetic. Its getting pretty old and I have no insurance. I could live without it if I had to, but I would like to have it so that I can work and provide for myself, and am praying for a job at the bookstore. I really love the mood of the place and the idea of becoming more social. I love the idea of working with other people, stepping outside of comfort zones which are not so comfortable anymore. Those comfort zones are starting to feel more like prison cells.

I feel God's Spirit is welling up inside of me, longing to express himself. I want to practice love and kindness. And I mean literal practice. Like target practice.

Let me make this clear: IT IS NOT ME. I have never been a person that likes people. I loved and longed for the shadows. You could have dug for me a hobbit hole and I would have been content to stay there. But no more. God is moving.

Jamie was right. When Jesus is inside you, its like being pregnant. Birth is inevitable.

Jesus said kinda the same thing. He described it as rivers of living water being inside you, ready to burst forth.

This flesh isn't strong enough to hold back the flood. Its coming.


lydia said...

Let it come................can't wait to hear all about the new 'baby'/life he is birthing out of you!! Hang in there little bro.

Bino M. said...

Yes, its impossible to hold back the love which wells in us. There are times I am surprised at myself, when God does some amazing things through me.

Much love, bro!