Often I feel like "Who am I to call myself a Christian?" Ever feel like that?
I feel like I don't do enough and I'm not fanatic enough to be a Christian. I don't lay hands on people and pray. Actually, I never pray in front of people unless it's silent or someone else is praying. I'll pray for people, but not with them. It always feels as though I'm talking to them and not to God anyway.
I always feel like when I'm talking about Jesus, people are looking at me, thinking, "Is HE suppose to be a Christian? HA!"
A friend prayed for me today at Church. Her name is Rita, and she is so gentle and kind. She pressed her head against mine and sat there and prayed for something I've been struggling with lately. I wanted the boldness to do things like that...But I feel I'm just not ready. It didn't make me feel condemned or anything, but I do want to be free from the fear of people so as to just lay hands on people and pray when they need me to.