I'm tired and distracted.
I'm worn out from an old mentality that is repulsive to me now. The thought of even trying to do anything is nauseating and tiresome.
I need a job. I need to take care of myself.
"Deliver me from sinking in the mire...
Let not the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the pit close its mouth over me.
Answer me, Yahweh, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me. Hide not your face from your son; for I am in distress; make haste to answer me."