Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I'm tired and distracted.

I'm worn out from an old mentality that is repulsive to me now. The thought of even trying to do anything is nauseating and tiresome.

I need a job. I need to take care of myself.

"Deliver me from sinking in the mire...

Let not the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the pit close its mouth over me.
Answer me, Yahweh, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me. Hide not your face from your son; for I am in distress; make haste to answer me."


Matthew Campbell said...

I like these verses, because David is helpless and he isn't trying to strengthen or re-dedicate himself. He's trusting God's arm and God's grip to lift him from the pit.

Joel Brueseke said...

Amen... when I am weak, then I am strong. I've been as you describe in these last two posts many times, and contrary to what the church believes, it's a good place to be.

I love that quote from Rich Mullins that I've shared often. "And I think the conclusion of the matter for me was that I think I would rather live on the verge of falling and let my security be in the all-sufficiency of the grace of God than to live in some kind of pietistic illusion of moral excellence."

I've found it more and more true that I'd rather be sunk in the depths of my despondency than to think I have it all together!

Matthew Campbell said...

Great point, Joel. It's difficult to see clearly when you feel weak. Feeling weak doesn't feel good or right, but thankfully the idea of stirring up some sort of strength or motivation is exhausting to me now. I can't go back if I wanted to.