Free-typin'

I just love how the Holy Spirit in Acts describes Stephen as full of grace and power. Makes me realize that grace and the power of God in someones life is completely shut off once you introduce ANY shoulds or should nots to the gospel. Don't be a coward and run to the law. Run to Jesus. Receive the abundance of grace.

I used to get afraid when I read in Revelation that it's the cowards and unbelieving who go into the lake of fire. I always thought it meant being timid, afraid to witness, afraid to do whatever for Jesus. But now I see it refers to lack of trust in the gospel by adding to it. And when you add to it, you take away from it. Adding to the gospel, takes away from it. It also quenches the Spirit. Because the Spirit can only operate in grace, because we cannot deserve it. You want to be close to God? Then receive the pure gospel of grace. You want to feel His presence? You want His joy? Surrender to grace. If not, then keep trying harder to recharge your spiritual battery. You will just keep sinking deeper and deeper into the quick sand of religion the more you struggle. "Whoever would save his life will lose it."

It's a load of BS that you're recognized as a Christian today by reading the Bible, how much you tithe, bless your food, or because you don't smoke, drink or cuss or whatever have you. What a ridiculous concept. It glories in self and subtracts from the cross. It doesn't have to be the Ten Commandments to be law. It can be any have to's in order to gain spiritual growth or salvation or drawing closer to God. That says Christ didn't do enough. Let's quit being so blind and open our hands to grace and see if you don't have a renewed love for God.

Scandalous Grace

I just got a clearer revelation of Romans 6:14 "For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace."

Paul doesn't say we're able to be free from sin because we find balance. He says the only thing that can cause you to have freedom is to live in pure grace. It is a shame we have to describe the gospel as the gospel of grace. The gospel itself should mean grace. We should not have to clarify ourselves. But now we do because law has saturated the church. People hang the Ten Commandments up like there is power in them. We even memorize them. But why? Yes, they are good and holy. But through us, they only inflame sin. Get law out of your head and put Jesus in it! If we live by the Spirit, let us walk by the Spirit. As you received Him, so walk in Him! From faith to faith, beginning and ending with faith. Defeat is the key to victory. Self quenches the Spirit. We need to die in order to live. Amazing isn't it? But it's the hardest thing in the world. It makes absolutely no sense to me if I try and rationalize it. The rational conclusion of this to the flesh is "That will just make me lazy". I say good! You could use some rest! Take some time to know God. You can't give love freely unless you receive it freely. Grace is grace. Grace is a scandal! We need to get over it! Quit worrying so much about fruit and start focusing on Jesus.

And if you automatically say "Then we can just do whatever we want!" Paul confronted the same idea in the verse directly below it. Paul, I think is saying "how can you when you're a new creation?" "How can we who died to sin still live in it?" How can we who are no longer sinners, but saints still live in sin!? Sure, we can choose to gratify the desires of the flesh. But we are not the flesh anymore. We are in the Spirit. (Romans 8:9)

I am not saying I've perfected this in the least. I'm just a baby to all of this. I do tend to have fears that I will preach it but not live it. I pray that isn't the case.

Law is an Aphrodisiac

"For while we were still living in the flesh, (self-effort) our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve not under the old written code, (ten commandments) but in the new life of the Spirit."

How much more clear can you get? Yet I still didn't see it!! I couldn't see because I was in the darkness of self-righteousness and faithlessness in the gospel. I dare you to believe that God loves you even when you sin. I'm not talking licentiousness. I'm talking grace. He clearly says it through His apostle Paul. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us!! God never hid from Adam, Adam hid from God! We are not condemned anymore. No one is. All we need do is come to the light, without fear that our deeds will be exposed, because Christ cleanses us from all our sin. There is no more consciousness of sin. (Easy to say, difficult to live by)

I get irritated with the idea that the law drives us to salvation, yet after salvation, we pick the law back up and try to obey it. Why? Is Christ not enough? Do we no longer need His Spirit?

Are you joking? Your body still sins! How can you do good when you're evil? I reject this idea because I used it and only saw myself fall deeper and deeper into condemnation. I liked to use the idea that, since I love God now, I'm able to keep His commandments. But the problem was that I wasn't able to love God because I was still living under law and not grace. I could see Him nothing more than a drill sergeant, or the principle in the Breakfast Club. I had heard about the always abounding steadfast love of God, but I wasn't seeing it. I heard about the immeasurable riches of God's love and grace, but I could certainly measure it. It wasn't very big. I didn't and still do not have the capacity to love God if He doesn't first love me.

I've tried abstaining from tv, computers, and video games in order to spend time and grow with God. I sincerely wanted to love Him more, but the more I tried to list His rules and obey them, the more I found out I couldn't even bring myself to like Him anymore. Why? I was constantly trying to measure up to the One you cannot measure up to! I was subtly adding law to grace in order to find closeness to God. I was scared to death. I was worried that had I ever been and tortured and threatened to die for Jesus that I might not be able to do it. And I probably couldn't have. I didn't even like God anymore. That raging love and faith in Him I first had, had somehow been quenched.

I tried motivating myself to keep His law. I tried more prayer time, more Bible reading, more giving, having good behavior, etc. It was not working. I couldn't even stay consistent for more than a few days with only this little list. I knew something was very wrong. I was terrified of Jesus returning. I just knew I was the wicked and lazy servant. I just knew I didn't have what it takes to be saved. I would go to sleep anxious every night about my salvation, and wondering if I would ever find my love for my Father again. Everyday was a constant fight to battle condemnation. I would cry and pray to God "What do you want from me?", and I begged Him to take away my timidity so I could witness for Him and be more active in my church. I wanted freedom to live for God, but I wasn't getting any.

This only came from that seemingly great theory that one must balance law with grace. Try it and see for yourself.

We're allergic to the Law. What you need is not more law and more abstaining from things. We need more Jesus. We need His grace and truth. Jesus gave law to the self-righteous. He really magnified the law all throughout the New Testament. It's funny Jesus liked hanging more around whores, drunks, gluttons and greedy people who loved money, rather than the guys who were trying so hard to please God. But their motive was evil, bearing worthless fruit, which is self-righteousness. Jesus called sinners His friends and ate with them. But to the people who abstained, prayed, read the scriptures, and kept all the law, Jesus yelled nothing but condemnation to them. But the sinners flocked to Him. Obviously He wasn't selling them law, because every street corner sold law. Every religion in the world requires laws to live by. Jesus wanted to give with all His soul. He wanted to fill our jars to the brim, overflowing, completely for free.

Are you scared you don't love Jesus anymore? Then bask in His love. Take the risk of trusting in Him completely. Abstaining from music, certain books, movies, tv shows, and food cannot help you love God more. Only receiving Him will do. I tried abstaining from things. It doesn't work. We're to be graciously given all things. You don't pay for God's gifts. A man in the book of Acts tried that. You see how severely he was rebuked for insulting the Spirit of grace. This rebuke isn't just meant for people who think they can pay with money. It is also for people who think they can earn God's acceptance by their turning from a few big sins and striving to keep the law.

What an amazing God we have. Glory indeed fills the highest place. What can separate us now? No one can undo the cross of Christ.

Pure Grace

So, I'm back from Lake Lure. The trip was very fun.

I am definitely growing in grace. And it freakin hurts. I am not at all joking. This is the most faith I've had to exercise in order to not fall back into self-effort, re-dedication, what would Jesus do muzzles.

My first reaction when I see myself sin is to want to try harder to stop. But I realize that isn't the issue. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but like Watchman Nee explained, a sinner isn't someone who just commits sinful acts. Committing a sinful act is only evidence the person is a sinner already. Paul Anderson-Walsh put it beautifully with the analogy of muzzling a dog who wants to bite a mail man. Putting a muzzle on the dog will stop the dog from biting the mailman, but if you take the muzzle off, the dog will still bite him. The law, fear, and condemnation is the religious muzzle. I'm so damn sick of people preaching "you gotta do this, you gotta do that! God's gonna get you!" I'm all for that teaching toward the self-righteous, but for believers in Christ Jesus, it has no place what-so-ever.

I'm sick of the country preachers preaching hell fire and brimstone to people who don't have the problem of being self-righteous. Perhaps they should listen to their own teaching and decide what in the hell they are going to believe. Is it you who pleases God, or is it Jesus? Are you willing to gamble your eternal destiny on your faithfulness? How do these hypocrites sleep at night? I am not saying I am perfect. I am saying I am imperfect.

It is my understanding (from experience) that a sinner is not drawn to church by flashy law keeping and good manners. A sinner is drawn to grace and truth. Why? Because most likely, if he has any sense at all, by looking at the ten commandments he knows he's a sinner. He doesn't need a muzzle to control him, he needs to be born again! We have preached and preached about hell, and sinners. I'm sure they understand that now. Where is the grace? I'm not talking about that coward attitude of well, grace is good, but you also need some control. Are you afraid of losing control? I know I am. I don't like letting myself go. I have to do it daily. It's called dying. I I don't trust myself in the least bit. So then I entrust myself to God. "Did I not tell you, that if you believe you will see the glory of God?"

What part of "Whoever would save his life will lose it" do we not understand? Quit trying! As my friend Sheryl pointed out to me, "You won't fall from grace, but rather you will fall into it".


Do not set aside the grace of God for one second and say, "but". But nothin'! I've tried the but's! And they don't work. Those buts do not inspire me. They do not create life in me. You know what makes me alive? When I see how broken and sinful I am and I hear God's grace say "I accept you and love you just as I love my Son, Jesus."

The more I think about this idea of condemning unbelievers, the more ridiculous it sounds. Christ died for the sins of the whole world. The world is not condemned by God anymore! It was never God who hid from man, but man from God! You can't condemn those whom God has not condemned! And if you do, you condemn yourself. As Paul Anderson-Walsh pointed out, "What God has cleansed you must not call common".

Instead urge the world into the banquet of God's grace where they will eat the flesh of Christ and drink His blood. And they no longer need a muzzle. They now posses Life.

Why is it such a chore to preach the gospel now? Because its all contradiction! We lure them in with grace, but under it, there is a hook. The hook of legalism and the ridiculous idea that we are able to please God with our efforts or else we lose the grace that we did nothing to earn. Jesus told His disciples to catch men with the truth of the net. Not rods, hooks, and lures.

The net is here if you want in it. There is no gimmicks, and no games. It is a net.

Take Away The Stone

I just opened my Bible and flipped to John 11:40

"Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

It spoke to me quite softly. The past few days I've just been anxious to be sanctified and get to work for God. (For the wrong reasons might I add)

I've just been getting anxious and nervous with my sinfulness and flesh patterns lately. The moment tension picks up, we feel compelled to run back to the law. Grace is scary. It takes faith.

God is amazing and beautiful. I love the way He speaks to us. He's so funny. He's so infinite, almighty and a consuming fire. Yet He is so gentle and loving with us. I love the book of Jonah. God is just like this huge lover ready to love and be head over heals for anyone who wants Him. He follows Jonah around irritating Him with His love. Jonah gets angry at Him for His indiscriminate, and ridiculous love. It's like Jonah is yelling "I told you to quit loving so damn much!"

Our Father is just so ready and excited to love anyone. It doesn't matter how much they hate Him, how far away they may seem. He is going to agape your head off.

A sinners nature is sin. What does a sinner do? He devises new ways to sin. He meditates on the pleasures of sinning. He explores it and goes deeper and deeper, thinking of the vilest thing that will please Him. (don't get freaked out, lol)

God's nature is agape. What does God do then? He devises new ways to love. He meditates on the pleasure of loving. He explores Himself and loves more and more extravagantly, thinking of the purest, kindest, most lavish way to give Himself to others for His and their pleasure. My proof of this theory is Christ crucified. He thought of the most excruciating way to love and lavishly pour out Himself for the most unworthy beings. We have one amazing God, who allows us to call Him daddy.

I give up Calvinism and trying to figure God out. I don't want to understand Him. I can't...I just want to stare at Him for eternity, wondering at Him, hopelessly in love with Him. Absolutely infatuated and obsessed with Him. I don't want good works. I don't want anything but Him.

Inward Groanings

It is a hard thing for a believer to realize and understand that they don't know how to love or aren't capable of loving. To know you're holy and made perfect, but still hindered from being totally free to love is a difficult thing to accept. I myself, am not able to be self-less. To see how far from expressing agape I am just hurts. I see how annoyed I get if I'm simply asked to water flowers or the lawn. I'm waiting on God to work in me, but something inside of me groans when I see this extreme selfishness or laziness inside me. I just feel I don't have the capacity to agape. And I don't. Only God can create agape and express it in me and through me.

It's not just hard for me to overcome these things, it's impossible. But of course, with God, all things are possible.

I'm praying for freedom from my selfishness and laziness.

The Lamb Of God Who Takes Away The Sin Of The World

Man..Hebrews chapter 10 used to just make me so paranoid. But now I read it, and it's good news! If we go on sinning willfully after receiving knowledge of what Christ has done, there is no other way to be right with God. There is no other sacrifice.

I know most people preach this is as willful sin like immoral sins. But has not Christ taken away the sin of the whole world? Are sins still the issue? I thought Jesus said in John that the issue now is unbelief in Him? So, how much will someone be punished for rejecting the blood of God's very own Son? I thought this was talking about believers, because the author clearly says they have been sanctified. But I now understand that Jesus took on Himself literally the sins of the entire human race. The only thing separating people from God is their own unbelief that God has given us life in His Son. So we need not condemn sinners or unbelievers, because they are NOT condemned. Jesus says they have a judge. Unbelievers judge themselves. Jesus didn't come to condemn anyone, but to save. He has nothing against anyone. He already took away the sin of the world. (John 1:29)

It's right in front of our faces, yet we still don't see. The amazing goodness of the good news is incredible. It's better than we ever imagined.

The terrible wonder of God's agape...The lavish, unlimited measure of His grace. Who can know how deep or how high His agape goes?