It is a hard thing for a believer to realize and understand that they don't know how to love or aren't capable of loving. To know you're holy and made perfect, but still hindered from being totally free to love is a difficult thing to accept. I myself, am not able to be self-less. To see how far from expressing agape I am just hurts. I see how annoyed I get if I'm simply asked to water flowers or the lawn. I'm waiting on God to work in me, but something inside of me groans when I see this extreme selfishness or laziness inside me. I just feel I don't have the capacity to agape. And I don't. Only God can create agape and express it in me and through me.
It's not just hard for me to overcome these things, it's impossible. But of course, with God, all things are possible.
I'm praying for freedom from my selfishness and laziness.