I guess lately I've just been allowing myself to be still. Learning to be grounded in grace I suppose because I easily slip back into performance mentality if I start to "do things for God". I start to get nervous and wonder how I am going to stay consistent in doing those things and I remind myself "Matt, it's Christ in you, quit panicking". It's becoming increasingly clear to me that this is not a rules based system. It's genuinely a relationship. Not the phony relationship with Jesus that the majority of people hold to which is really a cliche phrase to throw around. I mean it's me seeking God and receiving His love for me. The reality of Him being in union with me is becoming more of a reality to me rather than theology. I hate theology honestly and I think it's dangerous. I prefer knowledge of reality rather than theology. Theology only shows you how things work. Knowing how things work and actually living the reality are to totally different things if you understand what I mean.
I love how the Spirit in Romans says that it's by faith that we attain the access to this grace in which we stand. That means there is no price to pay for this. It's simply to believe. We access the grace of God by receiving it freely!
Reading the Bible is definitely not some chore I check off my daily list of chores for God. The Bible is a way I can understand God. It's the menu, not the meal. Prayer isn't a chore either. Never tell me I have to pray to God. What an ignorant lifeless command. My God isn't some pass time religion to take up. He is my God, my Father, the lover of my soul. He loves me so much!! All I do is receive it. He loves me freely. I couldn't tell you how much He loves me. He sent His own Son for me to die in order to get me back to Him so that we could be one for eternity.
This ain't no theology. This is reality.