When I'm feeling tired, lethargic or full from eating a good meal, it's in those times when I'm hesitant to seek God's love and believe He loves me. I get anxious when my mood goes down because I'm not feeling strong enough to be really nice or do nice and noble things for people. I don't want to talk to anyone. It's those times when I feel like I'm a worldly, hedonistic, self-seeking slob.
And so I feel even more tired because now I feel unloved. I feel like I am detestable and unfit for any good work. And so comes the treadmill of guilt. I've been lazy and selfish, now I need to up the speed on this treadmill of guilt. I need to do more kind things. I need to boost my mood and feel strong. I need to drink a few cups of coffee or something to improve my mood. God is not pleased with my mood. I need to step it up.
I haven't been praying nearly enough for people. I don't witness enough. I don't do enough good works. I don't love enough people. So now I reflect on my past failures and stupid mistakes and beat myself up so that I will be a better person.
....Just some things I sometimes go through lol. I thought you guys might be able to relate...I know you can. Whether you admit it or not. Whether you like it or not. You are not super-spiritual, nor will you ever be. You have not made that final, once for all dedication where you do everything you are suppose to do and consistently do it.
Sometimes I guess it's just best to rest in the fact that you are scandelously loved by God.