Sunday, December 14, 2008

My Beloved

It hasn't really been that long ago really. That is, Since I repented and came to Christ Jesus. I don't like to say "I repented" as in self-effort. A change of mind doesn't come necessarily from willing it to happen...Mine came from God. It was an unhardening of the heart to view Him in a way I hadn't before. New thoughts about Him...Good thoughts. And I fell in love instantly and was drawn in by His beauty. Knowing more about Him was all I cared for. The desire for sin fled away. Devotion to Jesus, my Jesus had been born. I only cared to think of Him.

A lot like when you fall in love as a teenager. You don't want to think about or talk to any person other than the one whom you're in love with. You don't wanna go anywhere or do anything but talk to that person.

I don't want my heart stolen from undivided devotion to my God, my Jesus. Love is the most exciting thing there is. I don't want desires for other things to quench my fascination and devotion.

Sometimes when I open my Bible, I am longing for it to tell me something, but I don't know what. I want it to show me His face.

The first day He set my eyes on Him, sin just became bland and stale. I found the most amazing person. The most amazing and exciting love. A "divine romance". Sometimes I wish I could feel that way all the time. To feel that passion every second. To see His face all the time. Jesus Christ has provided the Way beyond the veil into God's room. I can go in anytime I like. I don't want laziness or passivity to hinder me from simply looking at Him. The knowledge of Him transforms hearts. It's the most exciting and thrilling thing to just focus on Him and to think of Him.

I want my affections constantly to be set on things Godly. Love, holiness, purity. I don't want distractions. I only want Him.

This is no cliche when I quote the Psalm:

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because Your steadfast love is better than life."

6 comments:

Socoteanu said...

Beautiful Post. You described the feelings of a new believer perfectly. We just need to keep cultivating that relationship our whole lives.

I think that is why God talks about the faith of a child (and calls us His children). Children want nothing more than to spend time with parents. To be in their presence. In Christ we have that same desire for our Heavenly Father.

Matthew Daelon said...

Thanks, Socoteanu. :)

You're exactly right. Just to soak in Him. It's the most wonderful thing.

By the way, how did you come up with the name Socoteanu? I love it.

Joel B. said...

Beautiful words. I remember when I first began my walk with Him. I literally felt some sort of "halo" around my head... LOL. I don't know if it was simply that burdens had been lifted or if it was the freshness of the new way of life that I'd begun, but I really did feel a strange sensation around my head!

Over time the sensation wore off and I was so confused about it. Like you say here, I wished I could always feel it. Long story short, I do hunger and thirst in the same way you talk about here.

I can't remember who I heard this from, but I once heard someone say that in Christ we no longer need to hunger or thirst for righteousness, because He has truly "filled" us with His own righteousness, but yet the longing to know Him more and more - that kind of hungering and thirsting - is something we still naturally feel and long for.

Matthew Daelon said...

I think I just found out your NAME is Socoteanu. Nevermind then lol. Cool name though.

Joel,

I'm glad you had a strange feeling. 'Cause I had one as well..Not necessarily a halo but the way I viewed things were different. A feeling of having my head in the clouds. My vision was effected. Not physically but I just viewed things through rose colored lenses I guess lol.

I remember at times I would fill up with so much joy, I couldn't contain it. It was just the joy of loving Him. I remember telling my friends how amazing it was.

Then one time, at home by myself I felt this rush of excitement like adrenaline. Only it lasted longer than a short burst. It was as I watched a movie called The Perfect Stranger on TBN. The man playing as Jesus in the movie was talking about the Gospel and all we need to do was believe. And it filled me up.

But the strangest thing to happen was before I was converted. I mentioned it before. How I was watching TV and 3 or 4 times in a row as I changed the channel each one channel had someone say, "Come out, come out, wherever you are."

There are no such thing as coincidences.

Joel B. said...

I remember one night in those early days in which I went to bed with such a wonderful feeling of awe and wonder and love and... so on and so on. I was truly awesome. Next thing I knew, it was morning and I had the exact same sensation going on. It's as if it simply continued all throughout the night. I remember trying several times to recreate the experience, but it just never happened!

And wow... those "coincidences." :) I know what you're talking about. That's cool about the come out, come out wherever you are thing! The Lord has done some neat things like that with me, and I think it was a way of Him telling me that He's always with me. I'm thinking by now that it's happened at least a hundred times. Not so much these days (although sometimes), but more in the past. I'd be thinking about something, a specific word, for example, and I'd hear it on the radio or read it on a billboard. Sometimes it would happen several times in a week, and I just knew it was from God.

Something like that happened today. I came up to a T intersection on a city street, and there's this HUGE tree on the right, and in addition to that the road curves, so you can't see what's coming. At exactly the time I arrived at the intersection, an insurance commercial on the radio said, "You never know what's coming around the corner." Having been at this intersection a million times I said, "You got that right!" Then, I turned and went down the road and at exactly the same time that I was going over a speed bump the same commercial said, "We'll be there for you with every bump along the road." :D

God is so good!

Socoteanu said...

Thanks Man. I like the name. My wife wasn't so sure about it when she married into it though....

God bless