So I was having a great day today. Then I started thinking about how I need to be bold in my faith around people. I felt I didn't have complete faith in the gospel because I wasn't free from my shy personality. I feel so trapped and disabled in some ways. Sometimes I simply "lock up". I don't want to do something because it will attract attention to me or something. It can be very simple.
What caused this was listening to Bob George's latest sermon and he expressed what the parable of the four soils meant. Anyway, I felt my heart sink after I heard it. I felt I was someone who had no root in me. I felt that I soak the message of grace up at home, but in day-to-day living I sort forget and try to do things myself or I shy away from certain situations. So I've been trying to be more open and forward around people lately. I've had some success I guess. I try and remember who I am in Christ and that I shouldn't be afraid of anyone.
Scary stuff at times.
3 comments:
Most people don't believe this about me when I tell them... but I tend to be a very shy and timid person in many situations. I was never the life of the party and I've always had a hard time starting conversations with others. Being a "bold witness," as far as speaking up at work and other public places, has always been a challenge for me.
I've often felt much the same way as how you've described it here... disabled and trapped.
My "remedy" has simply been to grow in my understanding that God is expecting nothing from me! I am not my own workmanship and it is not me who works in me to will and to do according to God's purpose. I have not begun a good work in myself and I will not be faithful to complete the work that has begun in me!
My job is to rest, as you have blogged about before. God's job is to grow me. My heart - my roots - must become more and more established in grace, not in growing. I will grow in grace when I get off of trying to grow. :)
I've been through several phases in my Christian life when I've tried to step out and be more bold and be more outward with my faith, and to tell the truth I've fallen flat on my face every time! To be a "witness" of Jesus, it must be natural, not forced or contrived. I believe God will use you as a witness through your own personality, not through a personality that isn't "you."
I just want to encourage you that as the months and years go by, as you grow more and more in grace, your witness will be more natural and God-inspired. It won't necessarily be "loud" or "bold." It will simply be "you" (meaning Christ-in-you), whatever that looks like.
I GREATLY appreciate your comment, Joel. You're always very encouraging.
This is definitely something I can keep up for a while, but I eventually go back to being the same way. It's very frustrating. So I'm glad someone knows exactly what I'm talking about! lol
I never thought about how I was myself, trying to will and work for what I THINK is God's good pleasure.
PAW just said something very enlightening as well in a sermon I'm listening to while I read this. He said that if we would learn to be lead and simply respond to the leading, everything would be much more simple. The Holy Spirit leads, and our only job is to respond. Amazing.
Matthew,
I tend to be very shy as well, but not as much now as I used to be. I have to get to know someone for a while before I open up to them in person and let down my guard. It's a lot easier to do over the internet.
I think that God gives us grace to see us through whatever He brings our way. I try to avoid listening to people tell me what I ought to be doing. There are those that would tell you that you should share your faith with anything that moves. I think that we share by living our life and being open to His leading. We share grace by being graceful.
Sometimes God leads us to do nothing more than helping someone change a tire or buying the little old widow down the road some groceries. He leads us to forgive and embrace those who have wronged us, to show love to those who think they are unlovable.
God has brought me into contact, at different times; with two new Christian's who were going through a divorce. I have never been divorced, but I have been through marital difficulties before I was saved. Initially God lead me to do nothing more than listen to them and encourage them. No deep theological discussions, no preaching, just being there for them was more important than anything else I could have done. I shared the love of God with them and that opened the door for sharing more about the grace of God.
Like Joel said, allow God to grow you in grace. God will bring people into your life and you will be able to show them grace and share the fullness of His grace with them. Not because you think you have to or because someone says that is what's required of a Christian, but because you want to. God will give you that desire and, like Joel said, it won't be contrived, but it will be a natural outpouring of Him in you. God uses us just the way we are, shy personality and all.
In Christ,
Gary
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