I gotta confess that I think I've gotten off track. I think the past few months or so I've been trying to use Christ in me as a way to keep consistent in "doin' stuff" for God to maintain His favor.
Honestly, I've swerved off the path of grace and freedom in Jesus. I get anxious to get going and to experience a lot of growth and maturity in a short amount of time that I forget that God would still love me even if I never did anything else for Him. I can usually tell when it's happening because I will be getting anxious about what I'm doing and start to feel burdened about proving myself to God. I've let go of the crazy, ruthless faith that God is love and He loves me freely in Jesus whether I pray like I'm suppose to it or not. Whether I clean my house everyday or not. Whether I do charitable things or not. Why do we always seek to imprison ourselves or control ourselves? For me, it's a lack of trust in my Father's love for me. My human reasoning wants to draw limit lines around my freedom.
Am I free to say no to someone? If a neighbor calls me and asks me to come over for a few hours am I obligated to say yes all the time? Is the Christian life one big obligation after the other? I've lost Grace in trying to get it. I want to back up and regroup. I want my insane trust in God's love back. I want my excitement for God's grace in Jesus again. I don't want to lose my first love. I don't want to draw boundaries around His limitless love and grace in Christ Jesus.
Some posts in the blog With Unveiled Face has helped me take a step back and refocus.
2 comments:
Matt!
Obligation to do something will never bring someone closer to God. It seems like it will, but doing something for God because one feels obligated to do so, will never bring them closer to Father. I think if you don't feel like doing something and it borderlines obligation and force, than it's not God! He doesn't work like that! There is freedom in living for God without the angst to conform to what 'christians should do'. I have been thinking about this lately! Learning how to just BE and not do all the time! It gets so exhausting to just do and do without a real desire or purpose behind it other than the pressure to conform to this so called christian life. Where is God in that?! I am glad you wrote a post about this, it has really been on my mind a lot lately!
In Freedom, Nicole!
Hey, thanks, Matthew for your words of encouragement. I'm glad to know my blog may be helping another to sort through the deception!
You know, it is the hardest thing to wrap our little minds around the fact that He just wants us. No growth necessary. I can hardly fathom that, and yet my spirit knows it. I am a child, created for nothing more than love. Until I am sufficiently washed in His love, I will keep trying to clean myself up for Him.
Whoever knew it would be so hard to just BE! He did all the doing that would ever need to be done. It's done. Finished. Now we get to walk in it, and as we do, people will, undoubtedly recognize His hand all over our life. They will be attracted to us like a magnet, kinda like they were to Jesus, because love will be oozing from our very pores.
You never have to have another prepared word... ever. He promised He'd give 'em to you, the moment you need them. So, sit back and relax. Put Him to the test! I dare you to do NOTHING!!
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