Today I went to Hanger (prosthetic doctor) for an appointment I had gotten to basically meet with two doctors there to help patch up my 6 year old (but faithful by the grace of God) prosthetic. Apparently I had a lot of movement going on in the socket and that could have been a cause for my lower back pain.
So the doctor recommended that I call vocational rehabilitation and go through them to get a prosthetic and get trained for a job where I will (Lord willing) get insurance for a prosthetic. But I'm not sure how interested vocational rehab will be in me as I've tried to go through them twice and I just quit going. A huge cause of it was a fear of man that I believe God is breaking off of me. I was terrified to even talk on the phone. God is giving me strength in this area. He is giving me the ability to be free from these sort of fears. It may sound small to some, but it's a huge step of freedom for me to be able to call the people I need to call and make appointments and quit worrying about whether or not I use all the right terminology or if I'm articulate enough or whether or not I know what I'm doing. Who cares? God loves me and I need Him right now.
I haven't been able to pray for people as I would like to lately. I'm not sure whats going on. I just know that God is in control and He gives me grace to allow me to figure things out.
So...That being said, if anyone would like to pray, pray for this. I've never been consistent in doing things like this because of fear and laziness. I know God is faithful.
Tomorrow I will be calling two of my childhood doctors for the medical records. I pray that God would give me wisdom to know how to get all this done and hopefully get a job through Vocational Rehab. If I sound stupid, then I sound stupid! Screw it! Bring on the medical records, doc!