Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Here We Go Again

Today I went to Hanger (prosthetic doctor) for an appointment I had gotten to basically meet with two doctors there to help patch up my 6 year old (but faithful by the grace of God) prosthetic. Apparently I had a lot of movement going on in the socket and that could have been a cause for my lower back pain.

So the doctor recommended that I call vocational rehabilitation and go through them to get a prosthetic and get trained for a job where I will (Lord willing) get insurance for a prosthetic. But I'm not sure how interested vocational rehab will be in me as I've tried to go through them twice and I just quit going. A huge cause of it was a fear of man that I believe God is breaking off of me. I was terrified to even talk on the phone. God is giving me strength in this area. He is giving me the ability to be free from these sort of fears. It may sound small to some, but it's a huge step of freedom for me to be able to call the people I need to call and make appointments and quit worrying about whether or not I use all the right terminology or if I'm articulate enough or whether or not I know what I'm doing. Who cares? God loves me and I need Him right now.

I haven't been able to pray for people as I would like to lately. I'm not sure whats going on. I just know that God is in control and He gives me grace to allow me to figure things out.

So...That being said, if anyone would like to pray, pray for this. I've never been consistent in doing things like this because of fear and laziness. I know God is faithful.

Tomorrow I will be calling two of my childhood doctors for the medical records. I pray that God would give me wisdom to know how to get all this done and hopefully get a job through Vocational Rehab. If I sound stupid, then I sound stupid! Screw it! Bring on the medical records, doc!

7 comments:

Joel Brueseke said...

Praying for you Buddy. Praying for continued freedom and growth in freedom in all of these areas. I can relate very much to all of it!

Mattityahu said...

Bless you, Joel. You're a great brother.

Nicole said...

Matt you are covered in prayer brother! Father has a plan that is perfect for you so there is no worry that you won't be faithful in what He wants for you...

I too celebrate with you in this freedom that you are experiencing to do the things you are capable and need to do... I am proud of you!!!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Bino M. said...

Love you brother! I will be praying for you...

Mattityahu said...

Thank you so much, Nic!!! I'm really excited! I have no idea what God has planned for me, but I'm excited to be on the road to freedom. Thank you so much for your prayers. They mean a lot to me.

Bino, I love you too, brother. Thank you so much for your prayers!!!

I'm glad to have this part done! I can call all people through Christ who strengthens me! lol

Aida said...

Matthew, I've been praying and will continue to pray.

Don't stress about the whole thing. Take it step by step and just focus on each step. If you try to think about the whole thing, you'll feel overwhelmed. Each little victory will give you strength and encouragement for the next step.

We'll all there with you prayiing for you so know that you're not alone.

I enjoyed talking to you last night. I'm still amazed at how far you've come in two years. You're doing great!

Anonymous said...

Matt,
I know this email/comment comes a bit late (as I just read this blog entry). I just wanted to mention, I'm praying for you.
I do not know your background, but would like to learn more. What happened? For what limb/area do you need a prosthetic? And, since it's a week after you posted this entry, what's the latest update on the doctor's appt and Medical Records? I'm sincerely curious.

Feel free to email me at my MySpace with details. I understand here on your page is most likely not the appropriate place.

Just know, that in the meantime, I'm praying for you...genuinely.

~Amy
www.myspace.com/amyinsurprise