Hey guys,
Just wanted to say sorry for not posting so much. Not that I feel guilty, but I've just been in this funk lately where I haven't been reading the Bible much or anything. I finished my book Brisingr, by Christopher Paolini (AWESOME!!!) which took me a week or so. When I get into the story, I don't do much else but read. I love these books so I'm constantly reading until I finish. Then I feel depressed and emotionally attached to the characters in the book. It sort of shifts my focus and affections for awhile. I don't know if that is good or bad. But I've not been reading blogs very much or writing them very much. But God is doing great things in my life right now. The enemy is trying to mess with my mind and get me to despair as he always does, but he's a liar. I don't exactly know what God has planned, but I'll figure it out. His will will be done in my life regardless. I just need to overcome fear. Which I can't He will overcome it for me, through me. That doesn't stop it from being scary though. :)
I don't wanna get too proud and start trusting in myself and all that though...I just wanna trust Him and move forward. I know I'm being vague, but it's 11:02 and I am too tired to get into it all. But Ryan and Jamie have been such a wonderful expression of Jesus in my life...They are more than I could have ever asked for. I only hope to be half as bold as they are in their willingness to allow the love of Christ to flow through them.
11 comments:
Matt,
I'm delighted to hear that you finished and enjoyed reading "Brisingr." Sounds very interesting! I'm also thrilled to hear Papa is doing good things in your life right now. Wonderful that Ryan and Jamie have been blessings in your life recently. Isn't it so neat how Papa places the most perfect people in our lives just at the right time?! May you continue to grow and rest in the reality of His love for you, Matt.
Blessings,
~Amy :)
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com
You are a blessing, it's worth waiting to read......you can trust the Christ in you!!!
Amy,
Thank you so much. Has God led you into a new job yet or anything yet? I know you said you were looking for one.
Lydia,
You are more than a blessing to me. Your faith encourages me every time I read your blog. You are so full of love for Jesus, it's so refreshing as is your full faith in the Gospel of Jesus. :)
Love you brother... Take your time. I have had such times in my life where I felt blank, numb and lifeless. I have wondered and even doubted if there is really a life inside me. Sometime I fall into worldly passions, hedonism and gluttony. Then I would feel miserable and do a come back. I am convinced these kind of things are not going to go away.
But in the midst of all these, we have hope and our hope is in Jesus.
You are loved!
Bino,
You are amazing, brother. Thank you for your encouragement. I fall into those same things too. I'm learning also that I will never stop lapsing into them permanently until Christ comes or I go to be with Him.
Thank you so much. I love you too and will pray for you and your family. :)
Good post bro! May Father lavish his love and freedom on you during this time... It seems like you have come a long way in your relationship with the Lord and are letting go of guilt which is a big step! Keep it up even though its tough sometimes you will always have us for support and help whenever you are in need or just anytime! You are loved!
In Freedom, Nicole!
Just maybe if you didn't spend so much time watching "Peanuts" videos, you could write MORE!!
Wow; I sound like Lucy! :P
We loves ya, Linus.
Ah, Matthew :),
I always smile when I read your stuff.
Christ in YOU, the hope of glory.
You are mighty, brother. Whether you see it or not.
I saw Brisingr in Walmart last week and bought it for my oldest son.
He had been sort of rebellious and unwilling to help out the few weeks prior. I told him when I bought the book for him that it had nothing to do with the good or bad he had been doing in his life lately, but simply because I love him. I knew that book would speak to him of that love.
We both go in spells, but the last few weeks he has been more helpful, but it comes and goes as I know I have treated God in the past, but always try to bask in His love for me in spite of it. Caleb and I will be singing, "Adam where are you" together for Church next sunday. He has surpassed me on the guitar and is doing very well.
Like you and my son, I love fantasy novels.
Have you ever read and studied closely the life of David in the Bible?
Whenever I read fantasy novels, I am sort of left still feeling a bit hungry for more and even sometimes empty, but when I read the life of David I find if fills that same craving I have for fantasy novels, yet when I am done, I feel so full and satisfied and through studying David's life I find myself growing in the life of Christ's resurrection life and the Bible gets even clearer in so many respects. I hope that little testimony is helpful to you and not discouraging.
Grace upon grace,
Brian
Matthew,
It's so good you have some good people round you.
Can I relate a couple of things? Before Christine and I came to know Jesus we read a lot of science fiction. At that time there was more of that available than fantasy novels.Perhaps that's why we are so warped. But you know, the fantasy stuff is not so far off!!
Jesus knows everything about why we are what we are. He knows us much better than we do. "The Shack" is good on this.
In my case, I'd done really well at school...but the foundation was a search for love, approval, and value from my father. When nothing much came...I nosedived...and thought well, I've achieved as much as I can now achieve and it makes no difference. For one year I went into the thickest of thick depressions. Jesus met me in it, through the dogged persistence of my friend. That guy just never gave up getting me to a local youth meeting.
I found Jesus and two months later was baptised in the Spirit. But here is the interesting bit. As well as revealing Himself bit by bit to me, He knitted me into a local family, who gave themselves to me unconditionally.
I had no clue as to why I felt the way I did. Great rages would well up in me. Huge hurts. Huge confusions. I used to throw kind of tantrums with my friends. They never gave up on me.
Bit by bit, like in the Shack, God peeled away the raw layers as to why I was the way I was. He knows.Sometimes He lets others in the Body know so they can pray or support...sometimes He does it Himself by the Holy Spirit, or through our own or church input.
To us we see the way our desires, passions, will drive us in unhealthy directions. But He just sees the underlying reasons, and calmly stands over us with a huge pair of grace tweezers waiting until we are secure enough in his love, for one of His love operations on our soul.
When the Devil is telling you all sorts of black lies, and panic starts setting in...just try remembering Jesus, but also Ryan and Jamie, or their family....just relax in the fact that Jesus has been developing saints for several thousand years now. He knows how to do it. You're going to be amazed!You yourself...You're going to be amazing! You are going to amaze others with this amazement. The man writing to you slammed doors...committed adultery at 19, could not believe Jesus could change a person like me.....was locked in depression....was locked in his philosophies...in fact that was the foundation of my life!!!
but as people in the previous comments write...ofcourse it's Jesus who is the foundation of our life, and our Keeper....both our Keeper of the Law...as well as the "Keeper/Carer of our souls".
Imagine the most fantastical novel story about a new society of people with strange powers....
and that is real life for you my brother. The Body of Christ is like that now. Today. There are people who are actually picking up in the Spirit when you feel low, some may know you, some are on the other side of the world and may not. I tell you we are in the most awesome thing in the universe....it's just a little bit hidden. However it is considerably LESS hidden than 36 years ago when I came in. And this blogging tool never existed then at all.
Much love.
Hi Matthew,
As you can tell, I'm behind in reading other blogs too as well as keeping up with mine. I just have a lot going on but I've learned that life goes in cycles and I try to just flow with whatever Father is doing at that time.
Right now, he may be giving you a season of rest from blogging so that he and you can concentrate on other areas in your life.
I think we all struggle with fear to some extent. The things we fear may be different but fear seems to be a common denominator. I believe we may never really be free from fear but we can learn to trust Father in the midst of our fear so that fear is no longer debilitating.
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