I'm frustrated right now.
I want that excitement I felt when I first began to seek God. I want that wonder, that anticipation and the feeling of everything being new and amazing. I remember seeing everything with new eyes - the sky, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the smells of Spring. I knew for sure I would instantly die for my faith in God. The thought of being tortured or martyred didn't bother me a bit.
Why don't I see things as clearly as I once did? Is the "honey moon feeling" over? Has reality set in now?
I believe this is where faith comes into place.
Maybe worshiping God doesn't mean I have great loving feelings and excitement all the time. Maybe true worship is during the ordinary days of life when I feel nothing. Some days I feel as though my heart is as soft as flesh and other days I feel it's made of stone.
Regardless, I belong to the one true God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ.
My salvation doesn't come from my works, feelings or experiences. My salvation comes from Jesus Christ. Likewise, my assurance doesn't come from works, feelings or experiences. Blessed are those who have not seen, yet have believed.
Blessed are those whose every feeling and circumstance seems to say that God doesn't love them, yet still believe. Blessed is the person who is insane enough to choose to believe God loves them regardless of their behavior.