Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Back To School

Today is my first day back to school. It's been a little over 4 years since I've been in school. I've been looking for some free walk-through sites to help with my math. I found a little something last night, but I hope to get all I can to help me. I'm going to try and learn about 9 years of math in 6 months. I can do it if God gives me the wisdom and persistence. If you think about it, say a prayer for mom and I with that. I really need this. Don't force it up. I reject guilt driven, rattled off words. I refuse doing them myself.

So not much is going on lately. I've just been putting my full weight in grace. I notice I love prayer so much more when I'm in complete grace. Because in grace, God can hear me. I don't have to make huge, articulated, well explained prayers. I can just speak and believe God hears me, regardless of my behavior. I've been thinking about praying the psalms lately, but I never get to it. What I really want is simply a constant awareness of God's Spirit in me and my union with Him. I get tired of having to sense closeness with God only when I'm doing something like praying, reading the Bible, meditating, etc. I want to go mobile. lol. I ought to be able to have an awareness of God's presence even when I'm not doing any of the above. That's one major problem with me and doing my obligations. It's hard for me to focus on anything else other than God, because I get so irritated, anxious and homesick when I'm not aware of Him. I want to run and pray or read a grace book, or blog, or bible verse or whatever. Then when I'm able to, I don't. Because my body wants to watch TV or whatever and I'm sitting there hating every second of it because I want to be close to God.

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