Today hasn't been very good.
Tonight was just the cherry on top.
Mom and I were driving back from a church she decided to try called, "The Body", then on the way home I expressed my opinion on what repentance for salvation is. I got yelled at and blasted pretty hard. I was accused of being "obsessed with the subject" and whatever.
I'm still pretty angry and left with a sense of insecurity. I got that heart sinking feeling.
I was just introducing the idea that I couldn't reconcile repenting from sin to be saved with "We don't clean ourselves up before we come to God". I told her I don't think quitting sinning has anything to do with salvation. I'm not saying people don't quit sinning. I'm saying sanctification is by the Spirit and not by human effort. I do believe in a change of heart toward God. But I believe repentance for salvation is repenting from the sin of unbelief.
She said "How do you expect anybody to get saved talking like that?" I said they will "Believe on the Lord Jesus and be saved".
I asked what repentance meant then if our behavior has nothing to do with salvation. She said it's basically saying you're sorry and trying your best to quit. I know she just doesn't quite understand my point, but it's got me feeling down. Again, I'm not saying people don't feel sorry for their sin and repent from sin.
To be honest, I was excited to get blasted for it in a sense because people persecuted Paul because of the teaching of grace and accused him of preaching, "Let's do evil that good may come". - But then I thought and realized, this is my mom. Why am I excited she's angry at grace? Then I felt crappy for that. But when you're angry and hurt you tend to be blinded from the important things.
I'm just left with this feeling of "Am I right?".
If repentance is more than just feeling sorry for your sin, then how sinless do I have to be before I can consider myself truly repentant? Am I just splitting hairs? I don't want to spread lies. If it's wrong, I want to know. But Paul said we don't receive the Spirit by works of the law or adhering to the law, but by faith and faith alone.
But, John the Baptist told people "let him who steals steal no longer" and so on. So is repentance turning from sin or unbelief? - Or both?