This week has been pretty stressful. Mom broke her arm completely in two and I've just felt completely sinful.
I may be the biggest contradiction in the world. I pretend to be Christian around my brothers and sisters, but when I'm not around them I get angry at things they say.
I'm very intolerant against the slightest hint of legalism. And I hate that. I will dissect every word Christians say to make sure it's in line with the gospel. I don't want to hate my brothers and sisters. I don't want to sin..I don't want to be selfish or lazy. But I find myself doing it more often than not.
I've lost focus of Christ today. I had the thoughts that I must not be a Christian because I'm so evil.
My friends pray for me and all I do is think evil of them because I'm afraid they're going to scare me with legalism.
I try not to allow myself to feel condemned, but the weight of my sin bears down on me so hard sometimes.