I think I would scare myself if myself from 2 years ago could see me now. Listening to Korn songs again, not worrying about how much TV I watch or how long I play Halo. Not to mention the occasional "Son-of-a..." at my job when I have to pick 16 of those fold up chairs that you carry in a travel-sack. I can't stand that. It fills up my cart and I have to scan all the individual, consolidated ones. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.
And I don't say thank you everytime I get something different to eat. Gasp. I don't worry about being worldly and selfish if I eat a lot. After all, didn't Jesus feed the 5 thousand until they had as much as they wanted? Oi vey... I was my own worst religious teacher.
I wanna let go of the non-sense and embrace the things my Jesus is really concerned about. Like me trusting in his finished work. Like learning to quit being so cynical of people and easily writing them off as hell-bound, false professors. You may have not seen it in my polite smile and niceness, but it was there, under the skin. After all, I myself was constantly criticized to see whether or not I was in the faith, why not others also?
I'm starting to let apply to me what I already knew, but refused to take hold of. And that is the fact that the only thing that counts in my life as a believer, is my belief in the finished work of Christ working through love. Faith comes by knowing Christ, love comes from the Spirit of Christ who dwells in our hearts through our faith.
Relax and let go. Let Jesus work in you what you can't muster up in your emotions, desires or actions. He is the shepherd and he leads us by his Spirit to green pastures of freedom and grace.
"Martha, Martha! You're worried about everything. Just relax, sit at my feet, and get to know me."
"Just drink of me, and I will become in your belly, rivers of living water."