Sitting here, having coffee about to go to Bible study around 6:30 with Matt. Today was good.
I'm having this empty feeling in the back of my mind though. I want a deeper relationship with God. I want more of Him, but I can't discipline my body to stay consistent in it. I feel sort of messy and unorganized. Of course, I don't want it to be like 5 o'clock prayer time for like 20 minutes or whatnot. I despise spiritual programs. I wouldn't come up with a program for loving my wife (had I had one) and I don't intend on doing it with Jesus.
Sometimes I feel this laziness rise up in me when I want to go pray or read the Word. It is a frustrating thing to be consistent.
I'm always reminded of C.S. Lewis when he said, "No man knows how bad he is until he tries very hard to be good."