Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Worthy we stand, saved by His hand

I'm sitting here listening to music with itunes and talking to Ronno thy Botto on AIM.

So, I got kinda lazy today and I knew I shouldn't have taken a nap. I get cranky when people wake me up. I feel myself harden up sometimes when people come around that I'm not fond of. I need to do more praying on that, but the problem is, when you do that, then God causes those people you don't like being around to come around more often to soften you up. And my personality, or rather my problem, is that It takes me getting whacked in the head over and over before I come out of my fleshy shell. I'm very reclusive when it comes to loving people. I have been hardened up over the years I've noticed..When I was a kid, I wanted to express my love to my friends and be close to them, but in our world, that is considered "gay". So I subconsciously hardened myself up to those sort of things and now God is slowly and painfully softening those hardened spots. He has done a wonderful job with my mom though. That has grown my faith in Him...There is still work that needs to be done there, but God has definitely brought me a long way and will definitely bring me further. My job is to obey and let Him work.

Anyway..I've caught myself paying more attention to the world lately. Which is very annoying, so I need to really chill out with the internet and t.v. It takes my focus off God and puts my mind on the world and I'm left acting out like a moron with my attitude and just being spiritually messy and lazy.

I'm not trying to be depressing or anything. I'm really happy nearly all the time, I just have habits that annoy me and this blogs purpose is so that I can put feelings/frustrations into words and hopefully, come and look at some older posts later on and see growth in myself.

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