Saturday, June 2, 2007

Sacred Romance

I really want to read that book. What I experienced tonight reminded me of that title.

I had downloaded some songs from Itunes tonight. Songs that I had listened to when I first fell in love with God. And I was thinking I would like to write about what a relationship with God is like and as I was thinking about it, I couldn't really compare it to any other type of relationship we are able to have on earth. My experience in having a relationship with Jesus has been affectionate, comforting, exciting, and full of joy. It has also been terrifying, discouraging, irritating, aggravating, and very frustrating.

The feeling you have when you're able to love God and see Him clearly is unlike any other joy. It's deeper, and down right satisfying. When I think about it, that is what inspired repentance in me. Repentance means changing your mind about something...When introduced to this new love, I was able to abandon sin and turn to God.

I would like to say I am able to see God clearly all the time, but I can't. My mind shuts up and I forget...There is this inability in my body that disables me from completely loving Him and savoring Him. When I don't have that, I strive want so much to have it again. I strive to enjoy God. I strive to love God..But this body gets in the way. It wants to sin, but I don't. It's basically a battle of belief. Do I believe sin is more enjoyable than God? Do I love sin rather than God? It is so hard to love God when you're in a body that isn't able to love God as He should be loved.

The love of God is amazing. There is no other love like the love that comes from relationship with God. It fills you up with wonder, fear and awe. You're so in love but so afraid at the same time. It's the most satisfying romance ever. At least when you are able to see clearly. Sin distorts our vision and hinders us from loving God as we should.

It's really not about heaven when I think about it. It's not about laws or religion...I know all Christians say Christianity isn't a religion, but it isn't. You don't read your Bible for brownie points. You don't pray to mark it off your good behavior checklist. It's a restored relationship with your Creator. There is no more laws. The law is love. The law is relationship. We are brought into relationship with God through God as He wrapped Himself in human body, came here and made it possible for us to be reunited with Him.

Even as I explain it, I still don't fully understand it myself.

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